The New Year is coming, allow yourself happiness

Family.... why are there so many problems within families? Why can Xmas be such a stressful period?

Since childhood we are taught about rules and expectations we should have of relatives. And the teaching comes not only from our parents, but also from the society, cartoons, movies, school, even the children drawings we do.

But family is not always in the way we expect. In fact, most families fail to meet expectations at some point.

The difference with friends is that when they are not in the way we would like, we can change friends, or we can stop meeting them for a while. And we meet again we have forgotten about things.... with family it is not like that.

Xmas is very much a family occasion.... well, at least according to the expectations.... and there are so many rules, the food one is suppose to cook, the way one should dress, the time the meal should be served, how many gifts should be given.

So, family problems are highlighted during this period.

People without the money to meet all this must be strong to avoid feeling bad. On the other hand, it is probably a much more meaningful season without all the money. But this is a discussion for a separate post

This Xmas I met my family reality again and tried very hard to accept them as they are. And I must admit it is a hard task. It can hurt when we hope for a lot (and I don't mean gifts, I mean feelings, acts of care and love) and things don’t happen in the way we dream. And there is also the behaviour I think I should have too. And I feel under pressure to do things right. If I could overcome all that, I am sure I would be happier.

Today I read something interesting:

“It is very difficult to start a New Year and be happy if you have so many bad (hurt) feelings in your heart. It is best to forgive the people who have hurt you. But forgiving is difficult, most people don’t understand it... To forgive is nothing more than to remove the frame of expectations you created for people and start to see them as they really are ... Perhaps Xmas is here to remind us we are all human, and we all make mistakes.”

We all have hurt or disappointed someone at some point.
And perhaps we also need to forgive ourselves for our own shortfalls.


In few words: forgiving is all about allowing yourself to be happy!