Yes, I did it!!!!!

I did it, I did it, I did it.

and I am overwhelmed with proud!

As I mentioned in another post this week, the last painful step of a treatment I was going through was yesterday. Although I have managed a lot of injections and overcame a lot of fears, there was still this one last step to be made.

It involved general anaesthetic and I was concerned. Who wouldn't?

I did it, and all went well. I am home already!

On my way home yesterday I couldn't even think about how much I did in the last 4 weeks. Every time I stopped to think about that I would become overwhelmed with emotion....

So be sure, whatever you fear, you can overcome too. Your body and you are much stronger than you think!!!!!

If you are reading this post, you may be interested in how I managed it.

Well, I didn't have a conscious plan, I just had the determination that I had to do this.

However, looking back now, I think few things helped me. So I thought by writing here I could also help other people who may face a situation that looks bigger than what they think they can handle. 

1. I realised I had to do this because it was necessary.

2. I was aware of the whole process, but somehow I divided into stages and focus on getting to the next stage, rather than the end of the process.

3. When one day the situation was very difficult, I asked for help. And I also did a session of relaxation and visualised the outcome I expected - a way to experience the good results.

4. I focused on the help and good things I received, communicating to the people who helped me how much I appreciated their kindness.

5. Every time I had to inject myself, I focused on the preparation of the injection and made sure I was as precise as possible. I created also a routine of steps. So my mind focused on that rather than on the fact that I was going to have an injection.

6. Only twice I hesitated, and on both occasions I stepped back and calmed down by agreeing inside my head that I was doing something for my own good.

7. I played my piano a lot. I did this because to play the piano I need to focus on the music only. I can't think of anything else, otherwise I make mistakes. In this way, when anxious thoughts were upsetting me, I played piano. This gave me an opportunity to rest my mind.

8. The hospital is more than 1 hour from my home. And I was concerned about yesterday's trip back. During the return trip my worries were causing me to stress. At one point I realised I need a focus for my mind, to occupy it with something and replace my thoughts. So we played a game: to take turns and say one positive word with each letter of the alphabet. I said something with A, my husband with B and so on. Then we went on for a list of animals with each letter of the alphabet, etc. It helped. So, if you think you need to replace some thoughts, try to think of a game or a task you can do with what you have available. The other good thing is that a game can also cause laughter, and that will help too :)

9. In the beginning, every time I did an injection, I stayed quiet in my bed for about 20-30 minutes, giving myself time to relax before going on with the day.

10. I was optimistic about the results. Because to be strong and do the task in hand, I had to think it would work.

Well, I shared here what I learnt, I hope it will be useful for other people too.

There is always someone around to help ...

In my last post I mentioned how I managed to overcome the obstacles.

Recently I was talking about my family and how I felt they could have been more supportive.

And the person I was speaking with replied "How lonely you must feel...".

To that I had to reply "I don't feel lonely, it would not be right to say that. Although I didn't have the support I expected from them, I had a lot of support from people I didn't expect to help me. Three of my friends have been extremly supportive, my husband and his family have been there all the time. All beyond my expectations."

What I mean by support is a phone call, a message, a demonstration that someone is thinking of you. More than that, interested on what is happening.

What I have been trying to remember when I feel upset is that good comes from unexpected places. So instead of focusing on what didn't happen, I should focus on what happened, and appreciate that.

It will be only fair with the people that helped me and the good things that happened.

You are stronger than you think!

"You are stronnger than you think!" you may have heard that too!

And it is true, I can assure you.

When put in stressful situations, we cope, we find a way to overcome obstacles we never thought we would, I can assure you.

Also, because love will give you the strength to do so. When you see someone you love in need of your support, you will do it, your love will make you strong, you will only think about the best way to do the task ahead, and not about the possibility of doing it.  

All my life I have been known for making a drama out of any injections, blood, etc.

I have also been known for being soft, crying, very sensitive.

Well, well, well.... things change when we need.

As I wrote once in a post, we have been through difficult times in recent months.

There were problems related to the business, and I reacted with a lot of strength to support my husband .... and I don't feel the financial loss now. Months later, I resent the people that robbed him. But that does not mean weakness, it just means that it shocks me a long term business partner could do such a thing.

I also wrote about surgery. I had to clean the blood and the wound of a close person. And I did it with strength. I felt sad and sorry for what happened, but I did the task without thinking twice, I did it as a job that had to be done, it was beoyond the blood or the wound. Because it was required and I love this person.

Then I had to go through a treatment that meant I had to inject myself on a daily basis. Yesterday I did my last injection. It has been 39 of them, plus 2 blood tests!!!! If someone would tell me one day I would do that, I wouldn't believe. Again it was a task that had to be done. I focused on the task, and did it, very well indeed. I pretended I was working in a lab and told my tummy it was for my own good; therefore, required. And my body and mind accepted it. I also sometimes apologized to my own tummy for hurting her :-)

I am proud of myself and I feel very strong now.

When we know a situation depends on us, we handle it and we overcome our fears, we are strong and allow ourselves to show our inner strength.

Sometimes I take cards from my Oracle cards to read. Yesterday I was thinking about the last stage of my treatment - which will happen tomorrow. So I took the cards to ask for something else. When I was shuffling the cards, the thought of tomorrow's events came to my mind when one card fell out and it said:

" Be Strong.
You are stronger than you think you are, and your strength assures a happy outcome.

See yourself as strong and victorious. Don't complain about anything. Don't blame anyone or any condition. You are the embodiment of strength, not victmhood. As you rise above the old tendencies and see yourself in the new light of beautiful feminine strength, your life will automatically shift in miraculous ways. You will attract new opportunities, forms of abundance, and relationships to help you manifest your highest potential. Being strong means seeing yourself in the most favourable light you can imagine. Be real, allow yourself to feel genuine emotions, but most of all, be strong."

I had been talking about the aspects of Thursday and the last injection I was concerned about. It took hours for me to understand the card. Just before the lat injection I realized I was treating it like something bad. It did not make sense, I did 38 of them, what was the matter with the 39th? So, I told myself, it would be good for me and asked my body to accept it. And everything was ok. I have also decided that I am strong to go through Thursday and it will be good for me.

And I am very proud I have managed this treatment! Well done!

National Trust in Early Spring

Spring is here, the days are getting lighter and warmer and the parks and gardens are changing with the arrival of flowers.

And at this moment I feel so grateful for the membership of the National Trust I did. The best membership I have ever paid for!

So far we have not visited that many places, but we loved what we saw and it has definitely paid for the membership already.

Our first two visits were to Lacock Abbey and Nymans Gardens last autumn, and I have already posted on that one here.

Nymans Gardens is very close to us, so I have been going there almost every other weekend. The garden is constantly changing at the moment and it is easy to notice the transformation in 15 days. First there were the snow drops, then we had some daffodils, and last time I was there the trees were flowering.



  Nymans Gardens - Early March    	  Nymans Gardens - Late March  



         

The atmosphere also changed. During the winter there were very few people, it was a very calm place to get fresh air and think about life. Now with the warmer days, the gardens are busier and busier, vibrant with children running around, a really happy place, and full of life.

Last month we also visited Sheffield Park, also here in the south.

The lakes were stunning! How beautiful that place is. I went for the Daffodils, but the lakes and camellias were so beautiful that I forgot about the daffodils and ended up running out of time.

Shefield Park is an internationally renowned landscape garden and parkland. The landscape garden is informal and was laid out in the 18th century by 'Capability' Brown and further developed in the early years of the 20th century by its owner, Arthur G. Soames. The original four lakes form the centrepiece. 

           

Before that, late winter, we went to The Vyne, near Basingstoke, a very pleasant surprise too.

I put pictures here to share with you.

It is a 16th-century house and estate and a treasure trove of history. Originally built as a great Tudor 'power house', The Vyne was visited by King Henry VIII on at least three occasions and later became a family home, cherished by the Chute family for more than 350 years. The attractive gardens and grounds feature an ornamental lake, woodlands and wetlands. 

 

          

And I almost forgot about Polesden Lacey and Newtimber Hill, how could I do that?

Newtimber Hill is near Brighton. It is open for the public and free for anyone, you don't need to be a member of the National Trust. The views from the South Downs are amazing and you can get very close to the sheep they have living in there.

Polesden Lacey is a beautiful country house and gardens near Dorking. It was bought by Mrs Greville, an Edwardian hostess, in 1906 and re-modelled to be the perfect setting for her famous weekend parties where she entertained royalty, politicians and the best of society. 

The views of the Surrey Hills are also amazing from there.

         

I have been there twice, both during the winter. On my second visit there were doing guided tours in the house. It was very good, interesting and organised. We could choose which type of tour we wanted - focused on art, history of the family, restoration of the furniture, or family if you have children with you.

For the family tours they included games with the toys in the house.

I now must return this spring; they have a very good display with tulips.

It takes people to make a company work - a lesson to be learned by people working in the NHS

I try to write only happy, positive posts... but I am sorry, sometimes it is not possible to keep it happy.

Although in this post I am complaining about something that happened, I think it is also one to reflect about how we perform in our own jobs, if we do anything similar to what happened here. 


My husband had surgical procedure and was discharged from hospital on the same day. Despite the general anaesthetic, he looked reasonably well.

As we were leaving, I noticed blood on this clothes. He returned to the ward to be checked and the nurse said it was normal. However, I should have contested at this point as she also gave him extra pads - she initially had given him only one. So, probably normal was to use one pad, not five.

We went home and 2 hours later the situation was the same, so we called to check. Once again the nurse dismissed our worries without even asking one single question about it, anything that would let her gage how much blood there was.

Another 2 hours later, I telephone the nurse again. This time I insisted in describing what I observed in detail and she decided it was a problem, but said I could not return to her hospital, and advised me to call the ambulance and go to a hospital further away.

I am trying to keep details out, but what I can say about the other hospital is:
1. They left him dirty for more than 5 hours and he was only cleaned and changed because I insisted and agreed to do it myself. This was a nurses' job, as I would not know to do it properly, and techniques to stop bleeding.
2. There wasn't a specilist and they had to call the doctor in the first hospital to ask for advice. 
3. They forgot to put his name in the system and we waited there for hours without need. Without water, medication, etc. They also didn't check on his situation for more than 4 hours.
4. Whenever I would go to check progress they would give a standard answer and in one occasion laugh at me. 

About the first hospital:
5. He should not have been discharged when there was any question about his wellness.
6. They should have allowed him to return in the evening because the specialist was still there.

It felt like his return would be an inconvenience for them and of course once he is out it is not their problem any more. Almost like I called the nurse 5 minutes before her shift was over. 

My point with all this is to share my sadness this time, I was really sad to see that all these people's behaviour, disrespect with someone's life. To leave him all dirty and refuse to clean the blood was terrible and dangerous, who knows what would have happened if I were not there? How many people turn up in A&E on their own and have no one to fight on their behalf like I did? 

The tools were all there, the knowledge was there, but the people were not there. The good attitude was not there, the good management was certainly not there. There were some cold, lazy people, although I must agree there were also few kind people too... In a hospital, there should be only kind people dealing with patients. And certainly there should never be any lazy ones. There is no space for laziness in an emergency department. Any delay could cost a person's life.

So here it is the thinking bit about my post.

A patient in a hospital is like a customer in a company.

In our jobs, do we always act with kindness? Do we always give to our customer our best service?
Even when we have our problems with the company or in our personal life, it is not the customer's fault and they should not pay for that. 

Today I read something interesting and decided to copy below:

Engagement is important to a company, as Walt Disney said:

"You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world.

But it takes people to make the dream a reality.“

I think Walt Disney was correct, like in so many other things he believed. That is why he was so successful.